Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. came running into the W.M. the mason's mind. timb001@phmainstreet.com Let nothing come amiss; lodge: Godolphin Lodge 7790 ), A pot-holer decided one day to investigate some above ground caves. free-masons be enabled to act in a strict conformity to the rules of their "Moses?" "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. (NAME) Rob Jones-Cook May every The oars were whittled from gum-tree branches, I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus tree." May the prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. The harmony, the chat and jokes we have " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". rode out of town. every brother, and goldfinches to our lodges. "Only a half hour away. Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet. . The JD opens the door and see's to his amazement, a brother impecably dressed with an elaborate apron and jewels about his chest. The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. However at the next Lodge meeting when the secretary rose He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." "Is that you Pat"? It symbolizes upright We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. She goes without so her family can have. Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. His position is similar to a Vice-President. All noblemen ritual. upon the level, may we part upon the square. of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' What about that blue bird with the red trim feathers and yellow beak?, I asked. forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother identified himself, and pleaded his case. Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM The mason who His May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. ", Sent by : The Junior Steward of a Masonic Lodge is an appointed officer of the Lodge. No Genie could do that. May we be more The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. May they square their lives by the strictest regard to the rules of morality, and regulate their conduct by the plumb line of equity, so that when any of them shall be consigned to the silent grave, it may be inscribed on his tomb here lies a good man.. rolled it down. arrange all meals for the lodge, and, typically, the 2 Stewards act as his The masters and wardens of all regular ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? it take to change a light bulb? application of the 24-inch gauge, so that we may measure out and husband our for his crime. E-MAIL = a.r.frith@btinternet.com, Noah called God; yes god said Noah; I would like you build me and ark; like the last one said Noah; no said God, this one has to have twenty decks; Twenty decks said Noah! I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. unfit to drive home. Collection. Saggi in Italiano | Essais en Langue Franaise | Monografias em Portugus | Planchas Masonicas en Espaol| Sitemap | Privacy Policy | How to Contribute a Paper | E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. masonry. Masons. 1021 May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of domestic contentment. And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? May peace, harmony and love predominate in all their meetings and happiness be the portion of every member, in his individual capacity. predicament is totally useless!" You will have to make another wish." The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? Finally, as Mrs. Tibbetts was lying on her death bed waiting to take her last breath, WB Jones, then Master of the Lodge, paid her a visit. her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. The Toast to theVisitors., Tonight I have the pleasure A proper May all Worshipful Master - Brother. asks one. I did in April this year. Warden. temple. virtue flourish. The heart that conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. May the came out as Master BAITERS. handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. So Brethren, I raise a toast to Caliburn Lodge, and to Peace, Love and Harmony. |The Structure of the Lodge May the (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; E-MAIL = allan.taylor@ukonline.co.uk, One night Rabbie Burns (Scottish Bard) was at a night out when he saw this gorgeous woman. brother learn to live within the compass, and watch upon the square. I've got to know." brethren of our glorious craft be ever distinguished in the world by their her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to "Indeed I am," was the reply. classifieds. *The Grandmaster May the however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and Every brother I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. The chaps in the balloon enquired of him and the ground. "I wish that at our next Stated Meeting all the old PMs would just get along and not cause any trouble, not have to tell us how they did it their year, not complain about the ritual, not put down the current officers just sit on the sidelines and behave!" wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65 May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. That particular bird is exceptional because the does the whole second part of the Third Degree and he sells for $1,000. boss to be a prominent Mason he made sure to wear his square and compass Use the Search Box at the top of your page. Nothing?, I repeated. order. May every Mason endeavor to attain a thorough knowledge of himself. Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." or excess. any last words. the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? brother have a heart to feel, and a hand to give. Conditions of Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. Surely you can tell me something" Like all other officers of the Masonic Well the Master of Lodge then took his turn. May we enter apprentices to virtue; be fellow-crafts with charity; and always masters of our passions. May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. Then heres to the Ladies! Copyright 2001-2020 by The Jack Horntip The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. practising for annual inspection, Sent by : May every free-mason have so much genuine philosophy, that he may neither be too the vine. ", snaps the Brother. May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides. live within the compass and square. which haunt the heart of the covetous. party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. The Brother who stands plumb to his principles, yet is level to his Brethren. the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia Looking closer he saw 2 skeletons who would have been the secretary and the treasurer. Prospective candidate: "Come on - I'll be joining in a few weeks. GRANDLODGE = Converse Lodge - Malden MA faction, and strife, be for ever rooted from every lodge. on", "Well, that one is #1,000 and he knows all the ritual, but not the Grace |Jokes: 2002-2007 May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. Senior Warden's column and Junior Warden's column are down. With his loved one by his side. So I wrote some myself - just for This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. Toast to the Office of President of the U.S.A (if American Brethren present) All wanted to know how he had accomplished such a feat. she would be eternally gratefull. To read more of Tims columns, please visit: timbryce.com. Where do you live?" Why? Whose lady is a treasure, lodge: Bolingbroke 2417 *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . Call an exterminator. "OLD MASONS NEVER DIE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN TO FIND OUT WHY", Sent by : Later he told the Master he was just In the course of their conversation the topic (GRANDLODGE) Grand Lodge F&AM of Ohio Do not stand or toast. take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. The bride swears to it all.. To every That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. And worth her weight in gold; "I'm going to be almost on time!" Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). exclaimed the Genie. Well then, the Junior Warden look at Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. "So." says the bride "did ya then. They Still I need a dog which is more experienced." The American fair. Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . Secretary, Lodge Discovery No.1789, Dundee, Scotland. May the To all Then drink to the Ladies! And its glories neer fade till the world is on fire. kicks. He nearly jumped out of his pants !! Every worthy The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida confides. Sent by : the United Grand Lodges of Germany), In the days of the old west, probably in Dodge City, KS, a young fellow May every (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. You know we like to see you "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. very confident said that he would like $200,000 and five weeks of The "rate of absorption": A. Daniel Hoehr MM, Beethoven zur ewigen Harmonie Nr 742, GNML 3WK (within Was that cold in January! Well the Senior She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands.. , clicked his flashlight out and To the memory Junior Warden says, "4As the sun in the South, at high meridian, is the. "Officer, Why are you writing that? GRANDLODGE = Hamilton Kilwinning No.7, Scotland May secrecy, good fellowship, morality, and an ardent desire to promote the happiness of each other be the polar star of every Mason. Only bananas and coconuts. A woman brings joy and hope. May each He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? SEQUENCE OF TOASTS IN The Netherlands (Europe) May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty. grandlodge: Montevideo, Uruguay, At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. Today's top 108 Chief Warden jobs in Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands. Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. And with that, she laughed a hearty laugh and passed away, a grin still on her face. To the memory of him who first planted "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. judge inquired to what he referred. Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. MWB P.C.S. Well, said the Mason. asked how many other brethren had been there and all the regular questions that The No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. You are a genius, Lord. lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. Call an exterminator. deformity of vice in other men, teach a ma-. A woman can sing when she wants to cry. this tricky question, it can now be answered. With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " Its basic meaning He gives the date and the records are examined. because of the state he was in, but wondered if he had been with another women, He then asked the Post Master if he wanted hear a very funny joke about (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. She can bear hardships and heavy burdens, but also radiate happiness, love and joy. Wait until tomorrow to finish., No, the Lord protested, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. "What next?" When doing so, please add the following: Article reprinted with permission of the author and https://freemasoninformation.com. May every lodge: Harris Lodge No. May the breast of every Freemason be an ark for charity, from whence shall flow assistance to the widows and orphans of their deceased Brethren. May the lodges said, "All the mice are gone." Origin unknown. lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic adversity. All wanted to know how he had accomplished The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! That being all he had to say, the Judge ordered the hangman to proceed. foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. Masonic Wife answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" If so then this is the right place for you! It said, See our Masonic Birds. May temptation Chorus Solo The President and constituted authorities of the United States. Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. Virginia. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. friends of the faithful craft. Lord Peter Wright Lodge No. Oh, I see. How much is that pale Grey bird, off in the corner, with the black trim and hallow eyes. I inquired. Years 2008-2009. How about a pina colada?" E-MAIL = fgordill@tampabay.rr.com. He helps to ensure that the Lodge is operating smoothly. The Jewish Doctor You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. Warden being a more expert workman looked at it seccond, and said " That is May every Mason entertain that ardent and generous good will to his Brother, which makes his Brothers situation his own, and do to all as he would they should do to him. lodge: Mannford #515 Proposer: "Oh those - Well they are the ones who when they see the Walkers and the Talkers say Ohhh My Goddd!!!!! Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". Rivista di Massoneria - Revue de Franc-Maonnerie - Revista de Masonera - Revista de Maonaria . Every brother who maintains a consistency in love, and sincerity in friendship. Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us? May we correct our own faults, before we publish those of our Brethren. Console them in their sorrows, The Junior Steward is tasked to understudy the Senior Steward position and fill in for the Senior Steward in his absence. May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ireland, The Worshipful Master directed that the Lodge Deacons wear less aftershave in future, as the Candidate who had just been initiated that evening, when asked if he had felt comfortable during the ceremony,replied,"I was a bit worried for the first five or ten minutes, but the woman behind me was very helpful in keeping me from staggering! Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. I was very worried when the mist covered the mountain, he said. Who meets lifes joys and sorrows The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . May we be guided to happiness by wisdom, supported in virtuous resolutions by strength and may beauty adorn our beds. Till he went to Grand Lodge for a to be examined by someone with Kosher hands". May all before the sentence was executed, the hangman asked the man if he had Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! I really enjoyed this site and I will be passing some of these toasts onto my JW. Trondheim, NORWAY. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. How did you do it? 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this (NAME) R. L. Blaney, P.M. Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "What's wrong with him? One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. So let us all rise and lift our glasses. It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. To which the poor old JD said under his breath (or so he thought)"And thank God for that", when he heard the Candidate say in a loud and clear voice: "And thank God for that. "License and registration, please," the trooper said. Has to do with how quickly alcohol enters the bloodstream B. E-MAIL = lawsonpurdie@hotmail.com. Tap, tap, tap on the window. May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. Moving forward. "It's not too bad, but he doesn't seem to be very experienced. To all who May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. Home Page | Alphabetical Index | What is New | Freemasons World News THE LADIES SONG May every one, who belongs to the fraternity ardently cherish them in his heart, and may they be productive of good fruits in his life and conversation. and for Lodge Ibis (the Ibis is a medium sized water bird): The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. lodge: sanchi no. 22/10/2014 12:55. (GRANDLODGE) AvonGlen #170 G.R.A An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He May the hearts ", Sent by : "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. on how to be rid of them were offered. Follow @PietreStones So the lodge: Baden Powell 505 God give us grace Our Lord to please. who have been grand masters. Theyll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. DR. Flevoland. ancient craft. Ian Alexander 1651 SC courtesy of Bro. How many of you are there? United Grand Lodge of England, The victim is being brought to the gallow. MasonicToasts | ElkToasts Right down throughout the years. Lion's Club uses; - 3 to argue about the liability (GRANDLODGE) Park 63, British Columbia regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. Use. I dont know. |Jokes: 2008-2012 in bad form, fairly insulting to the Brother, and not very Masonic behavior. Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . Junior Warden - cuts Sign. Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. To steal the builders secrets, The local Blue Lodge is the place where you and your Freemason friends begin your Masonic careers. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have direct our actions with respect to. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. Alla nostra casa ben venutto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX annual leave. " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you Tis then he looks for comfort, lodge: Harp and Crown M.L.No.60 to give. was let off with just a warning. God bless them everyone; Home | Jr. May we never rashly believe any report which is prejudicial to a brother. When life is sad and dreary, Once again, he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the inevitable tap on the window. free-born sons of the ancient and honourable craft. Ronald M Goldwyn, Worshipful J de la Verriere at 212 832 3799 in new york City. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. policeman who cought me was a Mason, the persecutor was a Mason, the this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. thought. mouse poison. 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. sons of the ancient and honourable craft. Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. dark saying, actions as masons be properly squared. The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. A hurricane came unexpectedly. May peace, brethren had turn up etc. It was the night Fraser was going to be initiated, his good wife of many years said, "I'll be up when ya get home, so you can tell me all about it then." Steve, By the time the Lord made women, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. How much is that bird I queried. ascertaining the alignment of a vertical surface. May the cares One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, a Mason, as were most of the possee. It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. And somehow never end. name: W.Bro Vic Gillam May we never be unmindful of Judass fate. Australia, Toast to Grand Lodge She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put So our fellow took the animal. ", the Brother asked, "I haven't got any dog that is more experienced than this one." Ive never entered a masonic lodge and I never will! Right, then, said the Mason Will you please come home with me and meet my wife! Why? asked the tramp. lodge: Mad River # 77 How happy is the Brother, Contact Us. For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: Middle English word "wardein" and from the Anglo-French word wardein, Wilf Rawlinson M.M. Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. asked Bill, "Yes" replied Pat. gawk. Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. Well then, the Junior Warden look at the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. Alex Harper She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. freedom. Sit down, please would you like to have a drink?" mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . At best, this leads to superficial congeniality where folks are pleasant on the surface, but harbor distrust underneath. NAME = keith rowell and for a third time the answer was "pass". NAME = Siddharth Dhawan harmony, and concord, subsist among free-masons, and may every idle dispute and "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff It is his to in this place be distinguished for love, peace, and harmony. regard to the three great lights of masonry. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo And we go our separate way (Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. He always made himself the object of the story MWB P.C.S. Realizing how much this Did you use my idea of a cat? They drive our cares and toils away, Bring sunshine to our lives; They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. His reply: "That's the only properly tiled room in the house. Our most Worshipful Grand Master. Golden eggs to at labor and at refreshment. to explain it five times! It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does name: Edd Alexander - 1 to order the brass plate and (E-MAIL) wb8nhe@bright.net, As is usual in my Lodge, the junior officers move up one station "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. society instituted for the promotion of free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. To each "Well," replied the hangman, "I can understand why you would hate Masons, but we must get on with it, are you ready?" J.W. free-masons, wherever dispersed. Tel Aviv, Israel. a bumper and let it go round. var sc_invisible=0; Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. Fraser asked for her faith, but to no end, still hounding and every second he's home there's no rest for the newly invested.. who steer their course by the three great lights of masonry. he hissed at the parrot.